Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Lists
I'm having one of those days where I feel like my world is closing in. I have more to do than I can actually get done, everything's changing, nothing feels right and I just want to crawl in a hole and forget about life until it can get back to normal. Unfortunately I'm an adult, I have a wedding coming in 25 DAYS (Wohoo!!), and I'm moving to California. This translates to: grow up, take care of your responsibilities and find your hope and trust in God.
I got this idea from my friend Katie, who when life gets her down she makes lists of things that make her happy. I do this when I'm having crummy days (or weeks) and spend the day thanking God for all the BIG and small ways that he has blessed or provided me. So without further ado, below is my list of "happies".
1. My amazingly handsome, soon-to-be hubby, whom I've not seen for nearly two months. Pretty sure I don't deserve him, but am so glad he's who I get the privilege of waking up to every day for the rest of my life.
2. Birds chirping even on a cold rainy day in March, reminding me that warmer weather, green grass, and spring flowers are on their way.
3. The secret stash of chocolate being kept in my office!
4. Friends that help you pack and take massively large TV's from you so you don't have to haul it to Goodwill. (Thanks Mikaela)
5. Friends like Jodi that brought me a gallon of 2% milk on her way to my house. Breakfast was great because of you!
6. Abreva: you take the bite out of my cold sores, and make them vanish in the blink of an eye (well...almost).
7. A glass of cold water.
8. Clean underwear...who doesn't love that?!?! (Hey, sometimes you have to grasp for the small joys)
9. Wedding shoes that are yellow with green bows and don't hurt your toes!
10. Girl movie nights, preferably at Rachel's with a fire and her cozy couch!
Ahh...life isn't so bad after all. It's just life. I better get used to it!
I got this idea from my friend Katie, who when life gets her down she makes lists of things that make her happy. I do this when I'm having crummy days (or weeks) and spend the day thanking God for all the BIG and small ways that he has blessed or provided me. So without further ado, below is my list of "happies".
1. My amazingly handsome, soon-to-be hubby, whom I've not seen for nearly two months. Pretty sure I don't deserve him, but am so glad he's who I get the privilege of waking up to every day for the rest of my life.
2. Birds chirping even on a cold rainy day in March, reminding me that warmer weather, green grass, and spring flowers are on their way.
3. The secret stash of chocolate being kept in my office!
4. Friends that help you pack and take massively large TV's from you so you don't have to haul it to Goodwill. (Thanks Mikaela)
5. Friends like Jodi that brought me a gallon of 2% milk on her way to my house. Breakfast was great because of you!
6. Abreva: you take the bite out of my cold sores, and make them vanish in the blink of an eye (well...almost).
7. A glass of cold water.
8. Clean underwear...who doesn't love that?!?! (Hey, sometimes you have to grasp for the small joys)
9. Wedding shoes that are yellow with green bows and don't hurt your toes!
10. Girl movie nights, preferably at Rachel's with a fire and her cozy couch!
Ahh...life isn't so bad after all. It's just life. I better get used to it!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
8 years
Yesterday marked 8 years for me of being a Christ follower. 8 years ago I sat in desperation on a couch in my itty-bitty dorm room at ISU while Kim Hayden explained God's plan of redemption for us. I was at the end of my rapidly unraveling rope. Lost in sin. Alone. Ashamed. And he saved me. I praise God for Kim's faithfulness in putting aside her plans on a Saturday night to walk me through salvation. How different life would have been today had it not been for that divine appointment.
As I look back on the last 8 years, I see many ups and downs. Good days, bad days, good months and bad months. I don't think I could have imagined then all that God would do or how he would change me. I'm sure at that moment 8 years ago I imagined His work would be a quick fix. He'd sew me up, I'd get back on my feet and immediately begin walking the righteous path. However, as many of us Christ-followers know the ride's a bit more bumpy and unpredictable than that. The last 8 years have been very difficult at times, as the Great Refiner has been lovingly and patiently burning away my dross (there's still quite a bit there).
Colossians 3 has often been a passage I return to to "gauge" the strength of my walk, so I returned there yesterday to be reminded how far I've come and how much further I have yet to come. The passage talks about once walking in darkness in the life you used to live and Paul's description of that lifestyle is pretty close to what I used to live. And then he talks about walking in the new life, much of which I still have yet to get right. However, the passage begins with setting your hearts and minds on the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Oh, that my life would continually run after this principle to have my life and all of my being continually set on the things of God, things that are pure and right and good, things that please His heart.
8 years later I find myself about to marry a man that I would have never encountered or known had Christ not redeemed me. I feel, through this relationship that God is continuing his work in me and teaches me more about the gospel and his plan of redemption through Nate than an other relationship I've yet known. I have beautiful and faithful friends whose partnership in the work of the Kingdom have offered the depths of friendship I never knew I could enjoy through the body of Christ. I have parents who love the things of God and think and increase in the knowledge of the Father, whom I can now connect with over these things.
8 years later I can look back and see that God has always been with me. I don't understand why he chose me all those years ago, but I'm so grateful he did. How great it will be to stand before Him in his presence and know that I am there simply because he loves me.
As I look back on the last 8 years, I see many ups and downs. Good days, bad days, good months and bad months. I don't think I could have imagined then all that God would do or how he would change me. I'm sure at that moment 8 years ago I imagined His work would be a quick fix. He'd sew me up, I'd get back on my feet and immediately begin walking the righteous path. However, as many of us Christ-followers know the ride's a bit more bumpy and unpredictable than that. The last 8 years have been very difficult at times, as the Great Refiner has been lovingly and patiently burning away my dross (there's still quite a bit there).
Colossians 3 has often been a passage I return to to "gauge" the strength of my walk, so I returned there yesterday to be reminded how far I've come and how much further I have yet to come. The passage talks about once walking in darkness in the life you used to live and Paul's description of that lifestyle is pretty close to what I used to live. And then he talks about walking in the new life, much of which I still have yet to get right. However, the passage begins with setting your hearts and minds on the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Oh, that my life would continually run after this principle to have my life and all of my being continually set on the things of God, things that are pure and right and good, things that please His heart.
8 years later I find myself about to marry a man that I would have never encountered or known had Christ not redeemed me. I feel, through this relationship that God is continuing his work in me and teaches me more about the gospel and his plan of redemption through Nate than an other relationship I've yet known. I have beautiful and faithful friends whose partnership in the work of the Kingdom have offered the depths of friendship I never knew I could enjoy through the body of Christ. I have parents who love the things of God and think and increase in the knowledge of the Father, whom I can now connect with over these things.
8 years later I can look back and see that God has always been with me. I don't understand why he chose me all those years ago, but I'm so grateful he did. How great it will be to stand before Him in his presence and know that I am there simply because he loves me.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Growing weary of liberalism
The recent election was interesting wasn't it? Never before had I felt so foreign to my own country. You couldn't get away from the liberal ideas purported through the media, entertainment, even advertisements. Ideas such as right to choose, the recent "go green" epidemic, gay marriage, and socialist ideas masked as democracy. Some days I didn't even want to read the news so as not to be once again bombarded with the left leaning slant of journalists.
All of that said, I love to read blogs. I read blogs of people I know and I read probably just as many of those I don't know. I know, I'm weird, we can move on. I think a big reason I read blogs and enjoy them so much is that they are meant to be a biased medium. People can write whatever they want on their blogs, it's their business. I expect that. You should expect that when you read my blog that I will be voicing my own opinion. There are several wedding blogs I subscribe to that give me ideas and ways to save money, etc.
However, the two blogs I read every day both this week posted ads on them supporting Gay Marriage rights. Supposedly it's Right to Marry Week. Didn't you know?! And my goodness was I frustrated. Here I am just trying to get ideas for my wedding from a blog that actually makes money for it's writer and now I'm being asked to sign a petition so that gays can change the definition of marriage. I guess it frustrates me because I've come to the point where I rarely can enjoy a movie anymore due to their liberal agenda and now I can't even plan my own wedding and use tools to do that without someone spouting about how marriage ought to be.
Haven't the roles reversed in our country. It used to be the Christians that were accused of shoving our theology and doctrine down societies throat. Now I feel like I'm walking the other side of the fence and frustrated that I can't enjoy life without someone telling me how I ought to think about everything.
I'm sure this is not a well thought out argument, they are simply my thoughts and feelings about what a conservative, believing Christian feels in the world we live in today. So I commented on the woman's wedding blog saying that I came to her looking for wedding ideas not her ideology about marriage and that I would no longer be subscribing to her blog for that reason. It wasn't an angry comment, just plain and simple. May God help his people to know how to respond to society during these times in a way that points to Him. Some days I don't know what that is.
All of that said, I love to read blogs. I read blogs of people I know and I read probably just as many of those I don't know. I know, I'm weird, we can move on. I think a big reason I read blogs and enjoy them so much is that they are meant to be a biased medium. People can write whatever they want on their blogs, it's their business. I expect that. You should expect that when you read my blog that I will be voicing my own opinion. There are several wedding blogs I subscribe to that give me ideas and ways to save money, etc.
However, the two blogs I read every day both this week posted ads on them supporting Gay Marriage rights. Supposedly it's Right to Marry Week. Didn't you know?! And my goodness was I frustrated. Here I am just trying to get ideas for my wedding from a blog that actually makes money for it's writer and now I'm being asked to sign a petition so that gays can change the definition of marriage. I guess it frustrates me because I've come to the point where I rarely can enjoy a movie anymore due to their liberal agenda and now I can't even plan my own wedding and use tools to do that without someone spouting about how marriage ought to be.
Haven't the roles reversed in our country. It used to be the Christians that were accused of shoving our theology and doctrine down societies throat. Now I feel like I'm walking the other side of the fence and frustrated that I can't enjoy life without someone telling me how I ought to think about everything.
I'm sure this is not a well thought out argument, they are simply my thoughts and feelings about what a conservative, believing Christian feels in the world we live in today. So I commented on the woman's wedding blog saying that I came to her looking for wedding ideas not her ideology about marriage and that I would no longer be subscribing to her blog for that reason. It wasn't an angry comment, just plain and simple. May God help his people to know how to respond to society during these times in a way that points to Him. Some days I don't know what that is.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
25 random things...
I've been tagged...but wait it isn't one of those posts. I was actually tagged by my dear friend, Eve on Facebook, but instead I'm blogging about this "tag". So the name of the game is that you post 25 random things about yourself and the unspoken idea is to be creative and really original. I love to read other peoples, it's fun to see all the stuff that lies beneath the person you see day to day. People are fascinating, aren't they?
All of this is well and good until someone tags me and now I have to be random and creative. I realized I'd been tagged this morning and at first I was excited until I started thinking about what I would write. I thought about it as I showered, as I brushed my teeth, as I did my hair, and as I read my Bible. And before I know it, it's ruined my morning. Correction...I LET it ruin my morning. I started realizing how boring of a person that I am and the only things I could come up with is I love to read and I love people, or how unorganized I am, or whatever other character flaw I have.
And now all of sudden one of my worst fears is staring me in the face: that people will realize what an uninteresting, un-hobby-ish person I am. I started to realize just how much time and effort I put into making myself "look" interesting. Somewhere along the line I've bought into the lie that I must have 100 different passions or things that I'm good at, and be creative, and make a good meal, and decorate well, and always look perfect. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted.
I think wedding planning is also bringing this to light. I want to be "different" than everyone else and how they plan there weddings. I want my wedding to imply that I'm a free-spirit and really creative and good at lots of different things. And when I'm honest with myself I have to step back and call it what it is: pride. I'm prideful. I want to be thought well of. As a Christian, we ought to desire a good reputation, so that God the Father might be glorified. This is a good and right pursuit. My pursuit, however, has been that others would think well of me so that I might be glorified. Not a very eternal pursuit. Certainly not one that will last beyond this age.
So anyway, I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that I'm really not that interesting, and that's ok, because God didn't choose me because I looked the most interesting or I was the most talented dot on this planet. He chose me because he made me and loves me more than I may ever be able to comprehend. May I rest in that and find satisfaction in that.
So here are my 3 random things: I love to read, I love people, and I desperately want to see Him change me into His likeness for the glory of my Father.
All of this is well and good until someone tags me and now I have to be random and creative. I realized I'd been tagged this morning and at first I was excited until I started thinking about what I would write. I thought about it as I showered, as I brushed my teeth, as I did my hair, and as I read my Bible. And before I know it, it's ruined my morning. Correction...I LET it ruin my morning. I started realizing how boring of a person that I am and the only things I could come up with is I love to read and I love people, or how unorganized I am, or whatever other character flaw I have.
And now all of sudden one of my worst fears is staring me in the face: that people will realize what an uninteresting, un-hobby-ish person I am. I started to realize just how much time and effort I put into making myself "look" interesting. Somewhere along the line I've bought into the lie that I must have 100 different passions or things that I'm good at, and be creative, and make a good meal, and decorate well, and always look perfect. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted.
I think wedding planning is also bringing this to light. I want to be "different" than everyone else and how they plan there weddings. I want my wedding to imply that I'm a free-spirit and really creative and good at lots of different things. And when I'm honest with myself I have to step back and call it what it is: pride. I'm prideful. I want to be thought well of. As a Christian, we ought to desire a good reputation, so that God the Father might be glorified. This is a good and right pursuit. My pursuit, however, has been that others would think well of me so that I might be glorified. Not a very eternal pursuit. Certainly not one that will last beyond this age.
So anyway, I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that I'm really not that interesting, and that's ok, because God didn't choose me because I looked the most interesting or I was the most talented dot on this planet. He chose me because he made me and loves me more than I may ever be able to comprehend. May I rest in that and find satisfaction in that.
So here are my 3 random things: I love to read, I love people, and I desperately want to see Him change me into His likeness for the glory of my Father.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Oh...
...and did I mention that I'm moving to California after the wedding? I assumed that was implied but didn't make it clear. We'll soon be residents of the land of "fruits and nuts".
I'm back...
October 24th? Really? It's been THAT LONG since I've posted?!? I fear my blog might think that I don't love her anymore. Life has flown by (obviously) the last four months and there is much, much, MUCH to update.
I'm sure most of you know that I'm getting married! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Now that is a change, huh?! On April 4th, 2009 I will begin a new chapter of life as Mrs. Nathan Eagles. I'll give you a little background. For the last nearly 7 years, Nate and I have been in and out of each other's lives, sometimes dating, sometimes playing the role of friend, sometimes fighting...you get the picture. We last called things off two and a half years ago. We went our separate ways, he spent a year in China, I began my application for long term overseas missions.
Through a series of events, we were brought back together and both realized that we didn't want the next chapter of life to be void of each other. We got engaged January 10th, Nate took a job in California and moved there on Monday. That was the quick 30 second version of it all. The bottom line is, I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and the man that I deeply love and respect. I get to grow in Christ alongside him, raise children with him, grow old with him. We feel immensely blessed that God is working out all the kincks that for 7 years have been a frustration to us.
Now that Nate has left and is getting settled into his new job in California, I am here in Iowa planning the wedding and waiting for him to come back and get me!
Ok, that's all for now...
I'm sure most of you know that I'm getting married! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Now that is a change, huh?! On April 4th, 2009 I will begin a new chapter of life as Mrs. Nathan Eagles. I'll give you a little background. For the last nearly 7 years, Nate and I have been in and out of each other's lives, sometimes dating, sometimes playing the role of friend, sometimes fighting...you get the picture. We last called things off two and a half years ago. We went our separate ways, he spent a year in China, I began my application for long term overseas missions.
Through a series of events, we were brought back together and both realized that we didn't want the next chapter of life to be void of each other. We got engaged January 10th, Nate took a job in California and moved there on Monday. That was the quick 30 second version of it all. The bottom line is, I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and the man that I deeply love and respect. I get to grow in Christ alongside him, raise children with him, grow old with him. We feel immensely blessed that God is working out all the kincks that for 7 years have been a frustration to us.
Now that Nate has left and is getting settled into his new job in California, I am here in Iowa planning the wedding and waiting for him to come back and get me!
Ok, that's all for now...
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